You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
