I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
