is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
