At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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