You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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