I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
