SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
