physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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