my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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