Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
