Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize