I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm at about main and main street
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
