He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
