I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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