we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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