I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
