PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i was born a porn star she said
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
