Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
