I am in a vortex of obligation.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
