On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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