she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He felt like a one man threesome
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
