Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
