oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
