KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
