Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
