I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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