That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
