i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
