I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
