I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
