im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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