I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
