I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
