She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
