do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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