you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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