Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize