going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
