So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
