someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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