I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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