I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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