If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
More tranny stories later!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
