I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
