Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
