Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was not drunk enough for that final.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
