Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
