forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
