i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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