your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
