yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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