My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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