oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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