did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you would pick up someone in the library
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
