nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
