I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
