First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
