We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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