I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
