don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
